It's now time for us to talk about the most difficult thing in any divorce – the children. Sometimes a divorce can have devastating effects on children, effects that last a lifetime. You must make all decisions regarding the children based on their best interests. Not for leverage. Not for revenge. Not because it is cheaper or easier. But for them.

If any point I make stays with you let it be this. In the years we have been practicing – nearly forty years between us – I have never seen a judge . . . another lawyer . . . any sheriff, intentionally harm a child.

But we have seen more moms and dads than we care to remember do such crummy rotten things that we have felt ashamed to be parents. If your spouse is going to use the children to hurt you or for purposes of securing economic advantage then we need to talk. If you are going to use the children to hurt your spouse or for purposes of securing economic advantage, then save your money – most lawyers, including us, don't want to represent you.

Just want to make it clear how we and the vast majority of lawyers we know feel about this type of "litigation technique."

And no matter what anyone has told you, the only time a child decides where she or he wants to live is when they are 18 years of age. Of course the older a child gets, the more weight a judge will give to his or her wishes. So the issue of children breaks down into support and custody. We will take the easier one first.